BERHAMPORE GOLF COURSE (PART ONE)

 I joined Mornington Golf Club this year for several reasons:

1. It was closest to where I live
2. It was familiar to me
3. It was affordable

The alternatives were either too far away, not interesting enough or too expensive. I was interested in joining Miramar Golf Club but new membership there is currently closed due to the airport annexing a third of their grounds. They haven't yet decided whether they should become a 9-hole course or a thirteen-hole course.

Mornington Golf Club uses the public Berhampore golf course as its course. 

Established in 1916 and based at the Berhampore Golf Course in Wellington, NZ, Mornington Golf Club was founded as a public course to make golf accessible. Originally the Wellington Municipal Golf Club, it rebranded in 1919 and has operated for over 100 years on a challenging, hilly 18-hole layout in the Wellington Town Belt.

Key Historical Highlights
Establishment (1915-1916): Founded following efforts by Dr. Robert A. Cameron to create a public course, which officially opened on October 30, 1915, as the Wellington Municipal Golf Club.
Renaming (1919): The men's club became known as the Mornington Golf Club, and the women's club merged to form the Mornington Ladies Golf Club.
Sunday Play Battles: Early in its history, the club was involved in legal battles to allow golf to be played on Sundays, which was eventually permitted.
Centenary (2016): The club celebrated its centenary over the Wellington Anniversary weekend in January 2016.
Community Hub: Known as a friendly,, multi-sport complex, the club now hosts various activities including disc golf and indoor bowls.
Located only five minutes from central Wellington, the course offers a hilly terrain with, historically, a largely unchanged, challenging layout.

 - Google AI Overview

I can attest to the "largely unchanged, challenging layout".

The original clubrooms next to Wakefield Park are now used by Wellington Soccer and the club has taken over the old and larger Mornington Bowling Club premises. Sadly the bowling club greens are now unused.

I used to play at Berhampore golf course when I was at school. 

At first my brother and I played with some Vogeltown friends when we were quite young. We bought an old set of clubs that would be valuable antiques now if they were still intact. They had hickory wood shafts and quaint Scottish names like 'Mashie',  MacTosh', Driving Iron', Niblick', 'Jigger', 'Blaster', 'Brassie', 'Baffy' and 'Spoon'. We had to scavenge in the gorse bushes to find balls to play with (golf balls back in the 1960s were comparatively much more expensive than they are today) and if we found some very good ones we would sell these to adult players for a half-crown.

Later, at college Chelman, Christiansen, Lyons, Romijn and occasional others would play most Saturday mornings - early at 7AM. It was an 18 hole course with 9 holes each side of Island Bay Parade then. I remember every Friday night really looking forward to the next morning and staying up too late watching on TV 'The Wild Wild West' and afterwards Sam Snead's golf programme hoping to get some tips. 

At university I used to occasionally play at Berhampore with Tony, Mike, Roger and sometimes Richard. I gave Tony some of the old antique golf clubs to play with to replace the hockey stick he had, having bought a few new Slazenger clubs for myself. This didn't make either of us better players. The course had changed to 13 holes on one side of the road and 5 holes on the other which never seemed as good. I guess that the fact that two of the holes on the 9 hole course on the East side of The Parade required hitting over Mount Albert Road from the tees worried some city traffic planners (and their lawyers) which forced the layout change.

The course always was a challenge being known as a 'goat track' and was, and still is host to what seems like Wellington's largest quota of gorse bushes. Initially I regretted joining as my golf play on my first outings was atrocious but the last couple of times I've improved and 'found my mojo'. I was thinking that the course is too challenging for me (almost every hole is severely uphill or downhill) but playing a few more times should increase my fitness and stamina.

I'll end this first part with an interesting historical fact.

Shelley's older relatives (maybe aunty and uncle or great aunty and great uncle) almost bought a house in either Emerson Street or Stanley Street next to Berhampore golf course.

I would never have known this if I hadn't taken one of Richard's Bass Bag tours of Wellington. This was one of the more interesting highlights of the tour of course.

A NEAR MISS

 I got up very early (for me) this morning and headed out to play 9 holes. I was at the golf course just after 6AM at the start of a beautiful day.

The golf course is in a lovely setting surrounded be water and hills with views out over the striking volcanic formations of Whangarei Heads.

There was only one other car in the car park and that golfer had set out to play the back 9 holes. I played the front 9. It's especially nice playing at this time of the morning as there is more birdlife activity and the colours of the trees, water and hills change rapidly as the sun rises. being first onto the greens is a treat as the track of the ball through the dew shows the line to the hole, or not as the case may be.

Not having anyone following is good as well as there is no pressure in having to move along and more care can be taken with shots and there is more time to look for golf balls. I played some great tee shots and was happy with my play. I didn't find any balls though and this song went through my head - to my changed lyrics.

No balls today, no golfers went astray
I stand here quite forlorn, in the early morning dawn
No balls today, it makes me very sad
But it'll make The Old Girl glad

Why can't she know, how much it means to me
To find some new balls, in creeks and under trees
Doesn't she know, it harks back to my past
When to play a round, I needed a ball fast

No balls today .......

All was good though - until disaster struck. Gather around folks and I'll tell you a scary story.

Just after the 7th hole (which I played brilliantly) I headed down a steep path to the 8th tee, pulling my golf trundler behind me. Suddenly a golf ball rolled between my feet and I just managed to stop it and picked it up. I was wondering where it came from as there were no golfers behind me. Looking back I was shocked to see that the lid to the seat/storage box on the trundler had flapped open due to the vibrations from going down the steep and bumpy path. The ball had bounced out!

I was horrified and walked back up the path to see if any more had bounced out. I couldn't see anything so, hopefully I didn't lose any. It was a near miss though.

  

      
                       A near miss

(image courtesy of Richard's bass Bag
- why should I get all the blame?)

LET'S TALK ABOUT LAZY BASTARDS 2

 In the previous post I talked about golf being ruined by lazy bastards using golf carts to get around.

The other day I played 9 holes and, on the 9th tee, caught up with (and I was walking) these lazy bastards.

Four men of about my age and younger playing a round together each with their own bloody golf cart.

Well, really!

"Well, really!"

LET'S TALK ABOUT LAZY BASTARDS

 

On Wednesday mornings, at my golf club there's a tournament named LOBs.

Apocryphally LOBs stands for Lazy Old Bastards but no-one really knows. One of the regulars told me that it stands for Lovely Old Blokes but I think he was just being optimistic.

I rejoined the golf club back in 2018 after I had my stroke as I see it as a way of keeping fit. There are a couple of fairways that are quite steep (one is named Heart Attack Hill) and I always play this one as it forces me to march up pulling my golf trundler behind me.

All good.

But, over the last few years there's been an 'explosion' in the use of battery powered golf carts with the club itself investing in quite a few that are rented out, and sheds have been built for members who own their own golf carts to house them there.

I've got no problem with the use of golf carts by the elderly and the infirm but, to me, it's a bloody joke that fit young people use these all the time on their rounds. It's not exactly a sport then, more like waving a stick about after hooning about in an oversized toy.

The outcome is that the old, leisurely round of golf is becoming something else with idiots racing along on their four wheels, putting pressure on anyone in front of them who carry their clubs or use trundlers. I wouldn't mind if they were considerate but sadly many of them are not and treat the fairways like a race track. 

Now there are some older people using these carts but by far the majority are young 'tradie' types - the ones who drive souped up 4WD utes. These fuel their speed and aggression desires making them a danger on the roads and now they are doing the same on the golf course. I'm getting sick of it and refuse to be hurried along,

It doesn't help when morons like Donald Trump are seen doing it - even driving over the greens.

QUARDLE OODLE ARDLE WARDLE DOODLE

 

I set the alarm for 6AM which was a bit over-ambitious as it was still dark when I was woken. I then reset it for 6.45 and got some extra sleep. At 7AM I headed out to the golf course.

It was a beautiful morning with the sun coming up with the promise of a lovely day. The marks in the grass showed where I walked and the dew-covered greens tracked the ball.

I played well and did a quick 9 holes before returning home and completing the 'trailer pad' before it got too hot.

There's something special about playing golf at dawn. Usually there's no-one else around and it's quiet apart from the birds waking up. This morning the overriding calls were from the magpies in the big pine trees.

THE MAGPIES - DENNIS GLOVER

THE MAGPIES

by Dennis Glover

When Tom and Elizabeth took the farm
The bracken made their bed
and Quardle oodle ardle wardle doodle
The magpies said

Tom's hand was strong to the plough
and Elizabeth's lips were red
and Quardle oodle ardle wardle doodle
The magpies said

Year in year out they worked
while the pines grew overhead
and Quardle oodle ardle wardle doodle
The magpies said

But all the beautiful crops soon went
to the mortgage man instead
and Quardle oodle ardle wardle doodle
The magpies said

Elizabeth is dead now (it's long ago)
Old Tom's gone light in the head
and Quardle oodle ardle wardle doodle
The magpies said

The farm's still there. Mortgage corporations
couldn't give it away
and Quardle oodle ardle wardle doodle
The magpies say.

My mum used to recite that poem to us when we were kids. She was brought up in South  Canterbury - Eiffelton near Ashburton. There were huge macrocarpa hedges bordering the farms as well as very old, tall pine and other conifer plantations. The magpies would roost in the high branches and call out with that cry that Glover has captured so well.

The sound resonated with me as it did with my mother, when I holidayed at the old family dwelling.

I remember crisp frosty mornings with thick ice in the water pump reservoir, the stunning sight of the snowcapped Southern Alps in the distance and of course, the magpies saying quardle oodle ardle wardle doodle.

STRAIGHT UP

 

STRAIGHT UP

I played 9 holes on Friday and 7 on Sunday.

It was really hot even though I didn't hit the course until after 3.30PM each day.

I decided to try a new teeing off trick - one that I've been using for putting for a while. A few years ago I was playing with a good golfer and I noticed that when he was putting he used the writing on the golf ball to point towards the hole. I tried this and it made a real difference.

I kneel or lie down on the green and use my putter shaft to show a line from the ball to the hole. I then turn the ball so that the writing lines up with the shaft. The difference in accuracy is amazing.

Nowadays golf ball manufacturers are adding lines to golf balls for this purpose.

Callaway even have three lines on the ball so that the golfer can use the centre one for a straight putt and the left or right one if they can see that there is a 'break' in the green.

I now don't feel so silly of someone noticed me lining up the ball. I used to get funny looks.

Anyway. on the last two outings I applied this trick to my tee shots. I crouched or laid down and used the driver shaft to point down the fairway to where I wanted to go. I then lined up the line on the ball on the tee with the shaft. As I prepared to hit the ball I noticed that the perceived direction was different from what I had been doing. Effectively I had been hitting the ball slightly in the wrong direction, either to the left or the right. Using this trick I now began hitting the ball straight down the middle of the fairway.

Over the two days I managed to drive my best tee shots ever on nine different holes. It was amazing. I also used the technique on fairway wood shots and once again it helped with accuracy. I'm sold.

**************

A sad story. Look away now if you are of a sensitive nature.

Yesterday, after the first hole, I walked from the green to the second tee. This requires walking across a footbridge over a stream. As I was crossing I looked down and saw a gold ball in the water - a nice, white, shiny and new-looking golf ball. Beauty! I crossed the bridge, pulled out my telescopic golfball retriever and climbed down to the edge of the stream. I was able to easily retrieve the ball and carefully swung the expanded pole away from the water and above the deep grass I was standing in. Instead of doing what I normally do, that is keeping an eye on the ball while it is in the cradle at the end of the shaft, I concentrated on collapsing the sections of the telescopic shaft. When I turned my head I saw that the ball had disappeared from the cradle. It had fallen into the long grass somewhere but I didn't know exactly where. I started to search but saw that there were golfers on the first hole fairway so I had to make a move WITHOUT FINDING THE GOLF BALL!.

HOLES WITH ONE

 You might recall the presents I bought The Old Girl for Christmas and her birthday - a wheelbarrow, a sack trolley and some garden tools. Well, she bought me a new golf club for Christmas - a Universal adjustable club that can serve as an iron (numbers 1 through 9), a wedge (several settings) and a putter. See: ONE SHOT

We settled on the Universal not the Divnick basically because it was the only one that we found on Trade Me. This cost $200 which was a lot cheaper than buying new but a lot more than the full set of excellent Bridgestone clubs I bought for $156 back in October.

The Universal has an adjustable head that can change loft depending on the shot planned.

It also has a telescopic shaft that can be minimised for travelling with, and can fit     in a bag or backpack.

I went out and tried it this afternoon. It took a bit of fiddling to master changing the settings but I've mastered that now.

It also took a bit of practice to become familiar with the club at the different settings but I also mastered that and was able to practise until I was hitting some good shots.

The club is no serious substitute for the full set but as an easy tool for the occasional game it is great. I just had the club and a small shoulder bag with some balls, tees and my golfing glove and didn't have to haul a trundler along. I played a few holes and was able to par a fairly difficult par 4 hole and for the others I was 1 over par, two over par, two over par and three over par. Excellent for a first attempt..

The only trouble is that I think it needs a golf ball retrieving attachment.

If this could be added to the club easily I'd be in heaven.

As it was I found 6 golf balls in the streams but fetching them was difficult without a retriever. I ended up walking in the streams which were surprisingly deep getting my new shoes wet and with the water coming up over the bottom of my shorts (don't tell The Old Girl). Well, I couldn't leave those golf balls there could I?